How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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