you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
