all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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