just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
