Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
