Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I have fence marks all over my body
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
