I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Panties = found
Randomize
