I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
