let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
