So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think people are normalizing furries
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
