If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
