i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
