So drunk its hurt
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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