I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
