turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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