Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I CAN MOONWALK!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
