You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
and you said cock pushups were impossible
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize