You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I need to align my fucking chakras
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
