rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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