we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
