im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
A bitchslap is in order.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
