Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
