Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Blood and glitter go together right?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
