Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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