Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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