their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
