i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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