you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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