I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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