i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Randomize
