Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
