i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
