You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
