I didn't shave. On purpose
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
