Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
