You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Randomize
