I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
