question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize