Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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