So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
