is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
