are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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