I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
