the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
