I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize