Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
