Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
