Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
