I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
