You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
