We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
