splinters make it hard to masturbate
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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