I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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