i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
