I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
