Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
