You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
