Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
