Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize