I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
