Someone shit on the floor
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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