I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The feeling are messing with the penis
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Who put my cat in the fridge?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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