How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
