the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
