No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
