I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
