I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
