I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
