why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
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