pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
