never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
